Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. You have no choice. We havent tried that for a while. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("resource", "author_22782"); If you burn the flag, youre burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done. How is it possible to have a civil war?George Carlin, When I ask how old your toddler is, I dont need to hear 27 months. Hes two will do just fine. 50 Motivational George Carlin Quotes For Success googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. If you can connect with theseGeorge Carlin quotes, subscribe to our blog so that you dont miss a single post. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn't matter what color shirt you have on. Never argue with an idiot. 1. This is the best we can do folks. Were so self-important. "Events.Namespace": "csa", Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. Inspirational George Carlin Quotes 1. } Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. } You have owners. if (window.csa) { We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. You have owners. return false; He's the subject of a new documentary. Save the planet! I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. And just dumb enough to passively accept it., The government doesnt lie, it engages in disinformation., Im a loyal American and Im not happy unless I let the government and industry poison me a little bit every day., Government wants to control information and control language because thats the way you control thought, and basically thats the game theyre in., Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation., I believe the government should step in where the free market fails., Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them., A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does.. When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. var ue_sid = "334-5362882-2183381"; Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. document.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(stylesheet); Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. "ObfuscatedMarketplaceId": "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1" Your dog thinks you're a god. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointedidealist. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. - George Carlin quotes. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. The Strange Afterlife of George Carlin - The New York Times Because theres no money in that problem. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, Let the scarring begin.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. No money to be made off of the homeless. George Carlin - Quotes, Death & 7 Words - Biography Tom, Id like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy. These days, Trajedi. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, It turned out I was pretty good in science. It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. They own everything. stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. We havent tried that for a while. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things.George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.George Carlin,Napalm & Silly Putty. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. A Death! !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Everybodys going to save something now. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. .__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.authorModuleDropdownMenu{width:180px;border-left:1px solid #D8D8D8;border-right:1px solid #D8D8D8;border-top:1px solid #D8D8D8}.authorModuleDropdownMenu__dropdownLink,.authorModuleDropdownMenu__dropdownLink:hover{display:block;text-align:left;padding:12px;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", sans-serif;font-size:14px;color:#000000;cursor:pointer}#authorInfo{display:-webkit-box;display:-moz-box;display:-ms-box;display:box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-moz-flex;display:-ms-flex;display:flex;padding:10px 10px 5px 10px}#authorInfo .authorInfoGroup{-webkit-box-flex:1;-moz-box-flex:1;-ms-box-flex:1;box-flex:1}#authorInfo .authorPhotoGroup{-webkit-box-flex:0;-moz-box-flex:0;-ms-box-flex:0;box-flex:0;margin-right:10px}#authorInfo .authorFollow{display:flex}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer{border-radius:3px;border:1px solid #D6D0C4;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", sans-serif;font-size:14px;-moz-appearance:none;-o-appearance:none;-webkit-appearance:none;appearance:none;cursor:pointer;display:inline-block;text-decoration:none;color:#333333;background-color:#F4F1EA;line-height:1;padding:8px 12px;font-size:16px;padding:12px 24px;box-sizing:border-box;text-align:center;margin-left:0px;padding:0px;min-width:38px;height:32px;background-image:url(/assets/down-caret.png);background-repeat:no-repeat;background-position:center;float:right}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:disabled{border-color:#DDDDDD}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:hover{color:#333333;background-color:#ede6d6;text-decoration:none}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:active{background-color:#D6D0C4}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:disabled{background-color:#F3F3F3;color:#cccccc}@media (max-width: 540px){#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer{min-width:20px;width:27px}}#authorBooks{*zoom:1}#authorBooks:after{content:"";display:table;clear:both}#authorBooks .sectionTitle{border-top:1px solid #CCCCCC;padding:10px 10px 0 10px;margin:0}.accordionContent{padding:0 10px}.authorBio{padding:0 10px;margin-bottom:10px}.authorBooksMeta{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;padding:0 10px}.authorBooksMeta a{color:#00635D}.authorBooksTotalReviewCount:before,.authorBooksTotalRatingCount:before{content:"\00b7"}.authorDetailsList dt,.authorDetailsList dd{display:inline;margin:0}.authorDetailsList dd:after{content:'\A';white-space:pre}.authorDetailsList dt{font-weight:bold}.authorDetailsList dd{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;margin-bottom:15px}.authorDetailsList dd a{color:#00635D}.authorSimilarAuthorsLink{padding:0 10px}.authorDistinctWorksLink{padding:0 10px;display:block;margin-bottom:10px}.authorFansLink{font-weight:bold}.authorInterviewsList{list-style-type:none;margin:0;padding:0}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterview{margin-bottom:15px}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewAt{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewAt a{color:#00635D}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewTitle{display:block}.authorName{margin-bottom:10px}.authorShortBio{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif}.authorShortBio a{color:#00635D}.authorQuotesLink{margin-bottom:15px}.quotesList{border-top:1px solid #CCCCCC;margin-top:15px}.quotesPage{margin-left:10px}.noQuotes{margin-top:15px} Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. It's a Big Club, and You Ain't in it - American Thinker Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. What exactly is viewer discretion? 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. George Carlin Quotes Government. QuotesGram As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. You dont. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. 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In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. "Events.SushiEndpoint": "https://unagi.amazon.com/1/events/com.amazon.csm.csa.prod", George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote Best George Carlin quotes on life, religion and politics But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. In America, anyone can become president. Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. He made us notice the things we never did before in the form of his humor and this world will forever be grateful for this brilliant mind. Born: May 12, 1937. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. The future will soon be a thing of the past. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", Did you ever stop to think about all the people we kill? We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. I have certain rules I live by. He loves you and he needs money. }("apstag", window, document, "script", "//c.amazon-adsystem.com/aax2/apstag.js"); My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. } Well, we know what they want. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, 16. George Carlin. What do you get at the end of it? Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. Quote by George Carlin: "Political correctness is fascism pretending to